“Where the hell you wearing that to and for who?” Premise belted from the speaker of my cell.
I stood in the mirror admiring the lingerie that I had purchased hours prior. The red lacey fabric was only designed to cover the most treasured parts of my frame with everything else up for grabs. Swiping my tongue across my top lip, I twirled on my heel until I was facing the camera.
“For you if you act right.”
“Is that right?” Premise’s frown was quickly transformed into the most beautiful smile I’d ever witnessed. It was what had attracted me to him in the beginning.
“Yup. Just five more days and we’re all yours.”
“Shit. You’re going to be all mine, tonight, and bring that with you.”
“NO! That’s for Valentine’s Day. Where are you, anyway? You’re supposed to be pulling up. Why did you FaceTime me?” My senses kicked in as I tapped my screen to see the time display. “It’s after seven, Premise.”
“I know, baby. I had some plays to make and lost track of time. I’m going to be on my way in the next hour.” The street lights illuminated the car every few seconds, shining on his handsome face that I hated more than life most times.
“The next hour?” I scoffed. “Premise, this is the type of stuff that I’m always talking about. This dinner has been planned for over seven months, and you decide to handle all of your business on the day of?”
“Earth, chill. Some things came up that I need to take of. Hold ya horses and I’ll be there before you know it.” His face was tight, contorting as if I was the one tardy for our date.
“Premise. I’m fully dressed. What am I supposed to do for the next hour?”
Pause appeared on the screen, irritating my soul. “Baby, someone is trying to get through. I’ll see you in an hour.”
“Premise!” There was no use in screaming. He had already disconnected the call. “He’s going to be the death of me.”
Agitation settled into my frame as I headed into my closet to store the purchases I had made earlier. Inside of my walk-in, I was reminded that I needed to rehang the clothing I’d taken down while deciding on my attire as well as fold the towels that I’d thrown on my bed from the dryer.
Surely, those tasks would cut thirty minutes of my wait time. The remainder would be spent on my cell, reading over the research paper that I had completed for class and was due the following morning.
Against my beliefs, an hour had come and gone without my knowledge. Knee deep in my studies, I heard the locks of my door being turned and watched as Premise entered my studio apartment. Dressed in a pair of distresses jeans, a black jacket and Armani tee he was darling. My anger dissipated at the sight of him. As I stood to my feet, I couldn’t help the mile-long smile that spread across my face.
“You ready, baby? You looking cute!” he walked up to me, one arm stretched, and took my chin into his hand. Tilting my head, Premise kissed my lips and stared down into my eyes.
“You know I love you, right.”
“Yes.” I batted, his words filling me to capacity.
This man was the life of me. It had been four years since we’d began this journey and each day I found myself falling deeper into his web. His presence was reassuring, reminding me that God lived and blessed me each day. I was lost at sea when Premise rescued me. My heart had become an anchor, as big and inviting as it was. It kept me stagnant and caused me to descend in the waters until I was nose deep. He pulled me out in the nick of time and I was forever grateful for his love.
He wasn’t perfect – by far – but neither was I. We disagreed as much as people in any other partnership, but the love always outweighed our transgressions. Tonight, we were having dinner to discuss our future and the state of our relationship –or lack thereof, rather. I’d given Premise over a half of a year to decide if he was willing to commit to us full-time and become the boyfriend that I’d been wanting him to be since mid-friendship. Our fifth-year anniversary was just five days away, and I refused to bring it in without titling what we had.
“Don’t ever forget that. Now, let’s go, because I’m starving. I shied away from my food all day in order to work up an appetite.”
“I’m right behind you, Premise. I need to grab my bag.”
On the low, I was praying this man didn’t disappoint me and we returned on a lighter note than I’d been preparing myself for since I’d given him the option to commit or walk away from this situationship for good. At the mere thought of his commitment issues, my palms began sweating.
“Here goes nothing.” I whispered to myself before following behind Premise.
Dinner was nothing short of a heartache. I stormed through my house, upset that I had even rode with Premise. Hadn’t I, then we could’ve gone our separate ways without him coming to my house to plead his case.
“Earth. Can you slow down, baby? Damn. You taking this the wrong way.”
“You’ve got some nerve, Premise. I dedicate five years of my fucking life to you and all you’ve got to say for your whorish ways is that you’re only twenty-six and have a lot of time left on this earth for commitment. Newsflash, with the life you live you could die tomorrow. Hell, tonight even. Let’s not play dumb here.”
“Don’t Earth me! You keep breaking my heart, Premise. Can’t you see this?”
“I know… and…”
“And nothing. Just remember, you did this to us!”
“Earth. We can figure this out…”
“No. I can figure this shit out with someone worthy.”
“Somebody bound to get hurt, Earth.”
“You’re right, Premise.” My head fell into my chest.
Lifting both of my hands, I began to pull off the necklace that he had given me the year prior. After it was in my hand, I pulled at the ring he’d purchased me the first year of dating. My heart broke with each inch that I tugged, promises of my forever being washed away just in front of my eyes.
Premise’s presence had given me so much to look forward to and now there was nothing. My soul had died and been cremated with the words that he shed at dinner. There was no returning from death, only mourning. Mine had commenced the minute I turned up my cup of alcohol after listening to his confessions. Five years. Even the thought was excruciating.
“Earth, why are you doing this, man?” His urban nature – the one that had attracted me to him all those years ago – came to the forefront.
We were such opposites and it was the reason we worked so well. His ego was as big as the seas while I was a humble kitten each day of the week. I loved that about us and had sought out a man of his stature for those reasons. I’d only been in one relationship before Premise, and my mate was as wholesome as I was.
“What are you doing, Earth? Don’t take that shit off. That’s yours.” Premise was gaining in on me.
For the first time, I noticed the uneven breaths he was taking. His large chest rose and fell, dramatically. His mouth was parted, slacked in perplexity. I watched as his head shook from side to side as I attempted to hand him the jewelry that he’d given me.
“Ion want that shit. That’s yours... I gave it to you...That’s yours. Why you got to do this?” He started to back away as if the pieces were contaminated.
“That’s just it, Premise. It’s only material things. It reminds me of how selfish you are, thinking that throwing money and flashy things in my direction will keep me grounded, but I’m done. I’m done with you and the rest of this. You have shown me who you are over the last years and I’ve ignored it. Not anymore, though. This is it. I gave you seven months to decide if you wanted to be with me. You’d rather run the streets and fuck on whatever you can find instead of building something with someone worthy. You can be so much better than this, but I can’t want that for you. You have to want that for yourself.” The levees broke, and the water flowed freely from my eyes.
“That’s how deep my love runs for you. I’d rather be broke than to accept your guilt in the form of cash and the millions of other gifts you can think of to appease me for the moment. Just take this shit and get as far away from me as you can.”
“Earth,” He begged. “Don’t do this.”
“I’m leaving you, Premise. I can’t do this shit no more!” Both of my hands dropped beside me, making a clapping sound on either side of my thighs.
“I’m sorry to break the news, but we’re in this forever.”
“That’s the part you don’t get, Premise. This shit isn’t forever and I am about to show you how true that is. I want you out. Away from me as far as possible. My life must go on and it doesn’t stop moving because you don’t want to be apart of it. You made your decision, now deal with it.” I stepped forward, not stopping until I was face to face with him. My anger was beginning to override my pain. If he had any sense, he would let me be.
Premise’s eyes ghosted, and his posture slummed. His face contorted, and his eyes softened. He mirrored a man of apology, but he did have big enough balls to live up to that notion. Shaking my head, I continued.
“Get out.” I waved.
“I’m done, Premise. I’m not kidding this time. You’ll see.”
“Listen...” Premise moved at the speed of lightening, trying to catch up to me as I walked towards the door to let him out. When he reached me, I melted. He was magnetic and I had clung to him for years more than I should have. I had myself to blame, but things changed, today.
“Listen, this shit is forever, baby. You and me. I’m not saying that I don’t want to be with you, because I do. It’s just that I am not ready for the commitment you’re looking for. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or you aren’t everything that I need. You are. I’m just set in my ways and not ready to change, yet. You’ve got to give me more time. Please.” His voice was stiff... Hardened as he spoke them.
“What can I do, Earth? Tell me.”
“It’s over. There’s nothing more I can say to convince you to change your ways, and you keep reiterating that. Finally, I get the point.”
“Don’t… Don’t say it like that. You can’t give up on us, Earth.” He pleaded, forcing me against the door.
“I can, and I have. I’m tired. Exhausted. I’m so much better off without you, Premise.”
“Please…” Premise grabbed my chin and placed his lips onto mine.
Though I wasn’t interested in a night cap, I knew that it was the only way to get him out of my face. By the time the night ended and I woke the next morning, he would be gone. With that in mind, I accepted him after he’d pulled his pants down and removed his manhood.
“I fucking love you, girl.” Premise entered me without needing lubricant. I was always wet for him, upset or not. “You not leaving me. Not today. Not ever.”
“Yessss.” My body responded to his stroked, so familiar with them.
My tears stained the white sheets under our tangled limbs. His thrusts had caused a combustion of unforeseen emotions as he slid inside and out. We’d been at it for the last twenty minutes. Premise fucked me as if he was going for broke.
Everything about the moment was sheer pleasure. Not even the thought of the harsh reality our morning would bring could snatch away the glory that was being given. Not even the thought that the real Premise would be gone, and replaced with the being that I'd been avoiding. Not even the thought that the minute I opened my eyes, I'd be missing him. Missing us.
With the rising of the sun came an empty bedside. As I rubbed the space beside me, where our bodies once were, I began to question everything that I’d believed of us before he laid my body down hours prior. Again, my tears stained the white sheets.
His absence has caused a combustion of unfamiliar emotions as he roamed freely about his day, probably not concerned with the pain I was left to feel. I could even imagine him being okay with the way he’d left things, knowing that I’d always be around. At home, my world felt as if it had come to an end, but his was more than likely progressing in one way or another.
Lifting my body from the pooled memories of last night, I struggled to regain control of myself. Looking to the door, I briefly prayed for his return, but I knew it was a bit much to consider with the information he’d dumped in my lap over dinner.
Wanting him should’ve been the last of my worries. On my way to relieve my bladder, I noticed traces of his presence lingering in my bedroom. His hat sat on my dresser. He’d left something for me to remember him by. How cute? I thought to myself.
Last night was something to remember, too. Premise had reached inside of my chest and ripped my heart to shreds with his confessions. I could hardly contain the anger I felt as I sat across from him, trying to hold back my tears while he damaged me – internally – word for word.
By the time we made it to bed, he was so gentle and so charismatic in demeanor as if he wasn’t playing reverse Cupid just hours before. I could still feel his body as it brushed up against mine. Every doubt of my position in his life was magnified and those were my exact thoughts as my back hit the soft surface of the mattress and the white sheets fell beneath us.
As he removed my clothing, looking into my soul, even in the dark of the night, all speculations and realizations became clear. The gaping hole that he'd assisted in growing within my chest enlarged and I knew that I’d never be able to repair it.
As he fucked me senseless, I lost my senses. Over and over, his strokes were repeated, much like his actions. Over and over, we end up here. The on again off again was no longer an option for me, though. This needed to be it. It had to be.
After our steamy session had ended, he rocked me in his arms like a baby as I drifted away. His heartbeat against mine, everything right at once and only for the time being. The apologies rang loud in my ear. Of course, he was sorry. It never failed.
It wasn’t long before I was off to bed. Once I was convicted to a slumber, I felt his calloused hands rubbing through my tresses. He was remorseful, but there was no need. I didn’t crave or require his sympathy. Premise had screwed me for the last time, physically and emotionally.
This piece of him would be gone by morning, I continued repeating to myself. And with the rising of the sun, I made plans to be an entirely new being. I wouldn’t be over his unkindness in a matter of hours, but my foolishness would be laid to rest. My departure would be the dismantling of him, and I would make sure of it.
As promised by God, a new day had come. I lowered myself onto the toilet and released the liquid that caused cramps in the side of my stomach due to suppression throughout the night. I sat with my legs gapped, hands on my knees and head in my hands. The uneasiness that crept into my bones threatened to consume me, but I was determined to disable it before the damages made a mess of my day.
“Get it together, Earth. Get it together.”
Five days. That’s how long it had been since I’d blocked his calls, changed the locks on my door and purchased a space in the garage of my apartments so that Premise wouldn’t be able to keep up with me. As much as I wanted to hate him, I found myself in the dumps while writing randomness in my journal.
It was Valentine’s Day and the plans that I’s made for Premise were useless, now. I was feeling the effects of our separation for the first time since the morning he’d left and they didn’t feel so well. It was important that I visited my therapist soon, because I’d go insane if I continued carrying on as I was, today. Before closing my journal, I read over what I’d written.
As a romantic, my mind often trails to the topic of love (good or bad). Even in the darkest of days, they're filled with profound... uncanny... heart-shattering... earth-quaking... misunderstood... magical... heart warming... Pure... Deep... Love.
I'm just in love with love.
As I dig, and get personal, I must admit that I haven't had the best luck with relationships or in love. Even with that in mind, I realize that one day, God will send some worthy man on a journey to find me. When he is upon me, I'll know. With everything that I've got, I'm going to love him into a frenzy. Together, we will embark on something unique, genuine, and uncompromising.
But until that day... I'm missing somebody... Well, not them... Their presence.
I'm not certain if it's the vision I had that they completely ruined that has me upset, or the way things played out. I wouldn't even be surprised if it's the nights like this that I get frustrated thinking about the greatness we could've created, as one, that gets me riled up.
Perhaps the fact that they seem to be enjoying life as my entire world has stopped that grinds my gears. I don't know what it is, or maybe it's everything... Maybe it's nothing. Whatever the case is, none of the above has changed two certainties that I struggle with.
1) I still love 'em.
2) I miss 'em... Well, not them but their presence.
There's only seven days in a week, and five in a work week. Each of those days, I find myself wanting to reach out. But not for him, just his voice. Quiet nights, laying alone in my bed, feeling the space just left of me... I wish the emptiness was replaced with his body... Not him... Just his body.
There's been a few days that I've felt the weight of the world, and if only I could've gotten a forehead kiss from him... Not him... Just his kisses. They've always been the sweetest. Drastic decisions that involve too much confusion, thinking, or attention, I wish to borrow his thoughts... Not him... Just his thoughts. Scrolling through my messages, I often want to replace nearly half of the feed with his name... Not him... Just his name.
As bizarre as this may sound, it's reality for the most of us. We want everything that they have to offer, but not them. We often miss the warmth of their being, invading our personal space. We miss the corny jokes and the small reasons they give us to smile. We miss how calm our world was before the storm. We miss the relief, comfort, and confidence we felt before it all went south. If we could just... capture their presence. It would be a beautiful sight, huh?
“Earth?” My skin raised, fine bumps spreading about.
Turning, I found the most pleasurable sight available to me at the moment. “Aben?”
Aben was a piece of my past, a large chunk rather. We’d spend our entire high school experience with one another, which led to college. Our relationship went on to last for nearly six years before we decided that we should call it. I was going through a tough time dealing with family issues and maintaining decent attendance at the local university while he thrived out of state. To reserve our sanity and for the sake of our friendship, we both decided to go our separate ways. It wasn’t often that I seen Aben. He’d only been back in Huffington Mills for a year. Between then and now, I’d only run into him once.
“How are you?” I stood from the booth where I was seated and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“I’m good. What about you?”
“Well,” I pulled back and sighed, “I could be much better.”
“You here alone?” He looked around the restaurant.
“Have you ordered, yet? Mind if I invade your privacy? I came to grab some lunch before I head back home.”
“No. I don’t mind have a seat!”
“No problem. I’m actually happy you can join me. I’m sure I looked like a creep sitting here alone on today out of all days.”
“Speaking of which, why are you alone? Aren’t you… involved?”
“Was. As of five days ago, I’m a free agent. Some things just aren’t for me. It took me a while to realize it, but I got the point, now.”
“That’s what matters most. You made plans, tonight?”
“Yeah. A bottle of wine and dusting off my television to watch it for the first time in forever.”
“Great minds think alike.”
“Noooo. You’re alone, tonight, too?”
“Free as a bird. Why don’t you come by? We can watch something together.”
“That might not be such a bad idea, actually.”
Aben’s reaction was priceless. It seemed as if he was expecting me to decline his offer. However, I would take nearly anything over being at home alone. As I sat across from him, I admired his new features. For starters, the beard that he’d grown chopped away at his youth. Aben was a year older than me, but reserved the youth of a man five years younger. His light skin was refreshed, glowing in the path of the sunlight that shined through the window beside us.
“Really. Here. Write the address down, and I will be there around…” I waited for him to respond while pushing my journal towards the other side of the table.
“Seven-thirty.” He picked up the pen and began jotting his address.
“Then, seven-thirty it is. Do I need to bring something other than my wine?”
“You don’t even have to bring that if you could just tell me what kind you like.”
“Stella Rosa. Black.”
“Two bottles of Stella Rosa coming up. I want you to enjoy yourself, so I’m sure one won’t be enough.”
“Look at you. Still thoughtful.”
“Some things don’t change, such as your beauty. I miss that face of yours.”
“We should keep in touch. I mean… We don’t have to keep away simply because we aren’t together or even want to ever be together. I appreciated your friendship more than anything and we broke things off to keep it in tact. What kind of friends are we not seeing each other ever… Heck, I don’t even have a number on you.”
“I’ve thought of that many times before. It’s always so complicated when other parties are involved, though.”
“Well, that won’t be a problem any longer.” I assured him as the waitress appeared.
“May I get you something to drink, sir?”
“Earth. I’m delighted that you could join me, tonight. I half expected to be sitting on my couch alone, tonight.” Aben welcomed me inside and locked the door behind me.
“Hmmm. You shouldn’t have underestimated me, Aben. I’ve always kept my word. You and I both know that if there’s one thing I don’t do, it’s lie.” I stopped at the counter, not knowing where to go from there. The condo was immaculate, spacious and intimidating. I thought my studio was amazing, but this was next level.
“I remember. You’re right.”
“So, this is your place.”
“This is my place. Can I take your coat?” Before I could respond, I felt his hands only shoulders.
“Uh… Sure.” My nerves began to get the best of me.
As I unzipped the length of my oversized coat, I quieted my wholesomeness. I was in no mood to be the good girl that I had remained throughout my life. For once, I wanted to live on the edge, do some things I’d never done. And staring out at the city’s skyline through the floor to ceiling windows, I knew I’d chosen the perfect day and the perfect person.
“Earth…” Aben stuttered. “Earth… You not… Where’s you…”
“I left them at home, Aben.” I referred to my clothing, the ones missing from underneath my coat. “I figured what’s the use in bringing them if I was only going to take them off…”
“Earth… I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that my only interest was in taking you to bed. That wasn’t the plan…”
“It was mine.”
“No. When I walked in my closet to find something comfortable to slip into, I couldn’t stop staring at this…” Spinning out of my coat, I faced Aben so that he was able to get a full glimpse of my attire. “I want to break every rule, tonight, Aben. For once, I want to forget the pain and just live in the moment.”
“With you.” I nodded. “So, don’t deny me.”
“I would never deny you, Earth. Not if I can help it.”
“Then, what are you waiting for?”
Aben said nothing more, dropping the coat before shedding the space between us. He moved with urgency, picking me up and walking me towards the window. Yes. My body creamed.
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed this…” Aben barked into my neck. “Missed you.”
We’d made good memories, but time happened to get in between us. At this point in our lives, we understood that we weren’t compatible any longer, but that didn’t have to negate the fact that we should remain friends. Aben was the most endearing man I’d ever me, us both being people that rather play by the rules than break them. It was the reason we meshed well back when we were together. It was also the reason I was tossing my morals to the side and having this moment.
There wasn’t a better person I could think of. Aben and I had pursued a six-year relationship before things went south. The best part about it is that it wasn’t a nasty breakup, but a mutual agreement between the two of us. Let Premise tell it, he’d stolen me from my church boyfriend, but it was far from the truth. I just didn’t bother telling him – or anyone else – the details of my split with Aben. We agreed to keep the details private.
I wasn't sure which I should have been focusing on more, the grip he had on my hair, not choking as he thrust into my mouth without mercy, or the bruises that I could feel surfacing on my knees from the hardwood flooring. My eyes watered as he continuously pounded the back of my throat, signaling the fact that his release was near.
Though he should've been the last person I was thinking about in the moment, I couldn't help but thank God that my torture was near an end. I'd begged for this for at least five minutes, now, and Aben had finally delivered. My mind drifted back to minutes prior when it was my pussy that he was ramming himself into, still gripping my hair and smacking my ass while demanding I fuck him back... and I did.
This was what I remembered, mind-blowing orgasms that lasted me through the wee hours of the morning. Aben had pinned me against his window and removed my insides with his mouth after I’d admitted to my plans for the night. I felt that it was only fair that I returned the favor. One thing I remembered about Aben was that he could go for rounds. We’d be all night, and that was just fine with me.
"I'm bout to cum, baby."
His announcement brought me back to the situation at hand. Using my jaws as a suction, I helped bring him to his pinnacle. My pussy leaked from below as he dislodged himself from my moist mouth and began spraying his seeds onto the wood beneath us.
“Shit, Earth. Get up here.” Aben grabbed me by the arm and helped me from the ground. My knees were thanking him, silently.
We joined in a passionate tongue wrestling match as he recovered his dick with a second condom. At this point I knew that Aben wouldn’t be caring much about anything else but my personal gratification. He was a pleaser, unselfish and thoughtful. They were the best lovers to have.
Lifting me from the ground, Aben pressed my back against the glass and entered me for the second time. A sharp gasp left my throat. Oh my had he grown over the years.
“You know people can see us, right.”
“Let them watch. Maybe they’ll enjoy this as much as I am.”
Aben picked up the pace, sinking his teeth into my shoulders while stroking me as if his life depended on it. The sounds of my thighs slapping his legs each time we connected was exhilarating.
"Where you going?" His voice jarred me from my thoughts as my ass crept up the window in an attempt to relieve myself from his vicious strokes.
"You kept asking for this dick. Don't run from it, now." His voice was laced with thick, hot sex. Restricting my movements by pressuring my back against the window even more, he pounded into my pussy without mercy.
My neck gave in as my head fell from side to side, giving him unlimited access to my skin. Hit bit me harder than before, but I had no time to react to the pleasurable pain. The grip on my thighs tightened as his thrusts intensified. I continued to perspire from between my legs, lubricating his enlarged manhood with my sticky goodness.
One... two... three... four strokes later and his body convulsed, nearly dropping me from midair. “Earth. I need you to cum, baby. This shit too good. I can’t hold out.”
He didn’t have to mention it. My body was steps ahead of him, floating in the air from the sensation that had consumed it a second prior. My legs buckled as I clawed his sweaty back. My head fell into the crook of his shoulder, and it was my turn to leave a mark. To relieve the pressure, I pushed my teeth into his skin.
"Shit baby." I heard him mumble. He’d reached his highest point, too.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.” She sang, twirling her body so that I could see the silk red robe that she wore. It stopped just above her ass, perfect for what I had in store for her, tonight.
“Same to you. It smells good. What do you have on the stove?”
“Your favorites.” Farrah grabbed my hand and pulled me deeper into her condo.
We entered the kitchen and I was astounded by the entire set up that she’d prepared. There were roses leading towards the bedroom, confirming her intentions of a good time. The table was prepared for feasting and fresh flowers sat in the center. Music hummed in the background, low but noticeable. The mittens and cookware she was utilizing were all colored red.
“Scallops, king crab legs, shrimp, loaded potatoes and garlic pasta.”
I was a sucker for seafood. If ever I was out, it was the only dish I ordered. “Good looking out.”
“Sooooo…” Farrah plated my food. “Wash your hands at the sink.” She requested.
“Uh… Sooooo… Did you get me a gift?”
I could see the excitement in her eyes, but I hated to disappoint her. “Na. I been so busy today, running errands and shit. I had no time to stop by the store. Then, I knew that if I was late for dinner you’d have something to complain about, there. I took my lost and decided I would take you to the mall to get your own shit in the morning. First thing. Before I get my day started.”
“Premise… You promised.”
“I know, Farrah. Don’t start that shit. I’m here like you asked. Let’s be thankful for that.”
“Whatever.” She shrugged, her dark skin glowing against the red. Farrah was the tiniest, sweet like Earth, but passive in nature. “Just have a seat. I’ll bring your food to the table.”
I took the seat opposite of the window so that I could get a glimpse of the skyline. What I liked most about Farrah’s spot was that the view was awe-striking. Most nights I chilled by the floor to ceiling glass window – that circled her entire condo – and overthought every aspect of my life.
Across the way, I caught a glimpse of ass cheeks, pressed against the window just across the way. Farrah had a corner unit, which made it easier to meddle in neighbor’s business. While everyone faced one direction, the foundation of their structure forced hers to curve. Leaning forward, I squinted my eyes to be sure that I wasn’t seeing shit. As the thin red fabric brushed the clear glass, ass cheeks causing fog just centimeters below, I knew that my eyes weren’t deceiving me.
Farrah’s neighbor was putting on a show. Completely forgetting that my plate was on its way to me, I scooted the chair back and removed myself from the table. As I got closer to the window, the view became cleared. My dick hardened watching as the couple made use of the amazing view. I’d been wanting to fuck Farrah while overlooking the city for months, but never got around to it. Tonight, that would change, though.
“Farrah.” I called out to her. “Come here.”
“Just a sec.” Her small bare feet peddled in my direction. I felt her hand grace my back as she neared me. “What’s up?”
“Look at that shit.” I pointed.
“Right there. Don’t you see those ass cheeks on that window?”
“Are they doing what I think they’re doing?”
“Fucking. If that’s what you’re thinking, then yeah.”
“Come on, silly. Let’s eat. I feel silly for watching that boy get his rocks off.”
“You know him?”
“Yeah. He lives three units over. Aben. Real sweetheart. I’m surprised he even has company. Hell. I thought he was gay for a minute.”
That name sounded familiar, but I couldn’t pinpoint where I’d heard it.
“Na. that’s definitely a woman over there and she getting that back blown out.” I chuckled. “You trying to put on a show tonight?”
“Yeah. Right in my bedroom with the automatic blinds enabled.”
“Na. I’m talking about in here. Ass against the glass while I dig in your guts.”
“Premise, I am not about that life, honey. Come on and eat before our food gets cold.”
“So, you too scared to have sex by the window?”
“Uh. Yes. I live here. You think I want my neighbors seeing my most private moment?”
“It’s just a little fun, Farrah.” I couldn’t believe Farrah was scared to live a little. I’d never thought she’d disagree to that, which is why the thought had arisen more than once since she’d moved into the place.
“I’m all for fun, but I have a few limits, Premise.” She walked off. “Her teddy is cute. Looks like I should’ve gotten something a bit more revealing. I’m slipping.”
I returned to the table where we prayed over the food before digging in. Per usual, Farrah wanted to tell me about her boring ass day as I zoned out. It was the same thing each time I visited.
As she continued her conversation, I became lost in my thoughts. She was nothing in comparison to Earth, but she was fun. Farrah didn’t require a commitment or want me to be anything more to her than I was willing to be. She accepted my flaws and didn’t badger me for having them.
Earth wanted the world, but I didn’t have it to give. I’d be damned if I broke my neck trying to make it happen for her, either. She required too much work. While she’d grown up in a nurturing atmosphere with her Indian relatives, I was from the hood. The strength of a woman was measured by her will to raise her children and hold her man down no matter the situation.
I’m not saying that it was the right thing to consider, but it was all I knew. You stuck by your man’s side through it all. Earth ran at the sign of trouble. The minute I managed to fuck up, I could kiss her goodbye. Sometimes her tantrums would last for weeks, other times they’d last for months. Whatever the case, she always came back to me. Yet, I had a feeling that this time she was gone forever.
We were different, which is what made us so compatible. She balanced me, kept me grounded when I needed to be and brought me joy on my darkest days. But, I wasn’t ready to be the man she wanted and I needed her to understand that. I didn’t think that it should be the end of us, but – apparently – she did.
Picking up my cell and unlocking it, I scrolled until I reached our conversation thread. The undelivered messages in blue made me sick to my stomach. I’d been trying her for days to no avail. Shrugging, I decided to shoot her a text, anyway.
Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you
I was almost certain the text would bounce. I’d been calling and receiving Earth’s voicemail since the day I’d left her house. My key no longer worked for her door and her car was never parked out front of her building, anymore. I’d gone by three days straight, this morning being the last time.
“So, I guess this is goodbye, huh?” Aben cradled me in his arms as we stood at his door.
“Not if you walk me to my car.” I pecked his lips and watched as he melted before me.
“I had plans of doing that, anyway.”
“Then, are you going to let me go so that I can get to class this morning or no?”
“Aw shit. I forgot.”
He released me, finally. “And this isn’t goodbye. Remember we will remain friends as promised. Just… no more of… this.” I waved between us two.
“That’s going to be a bit hard to put a lid on, Earth.”
“Well, we will figure it out. I’m sure.”
Aben opened the door to let us both exit. We rode the elevator down to the lobby and took the express route to the visitor’s parking lot. The hallway was cold, reminding me that I had on nothing under my coat. Aben had been nice enough to lend me a pair of boxers and a tee shirt, but they weren’t much of a force compared to the winds howling.
“You sure you’re good?”
“Yes, Aben. I’m fine. I just need to get home and put on some clothes. I guess I didn’t think this out much.”
“You didn’t, Earth.” He chastised.
“Aben.” I heard from behind him.
Ah shit. I thought to myself. As Aben turned around, I noticed a short petite girl with the prettiest brown eyes waving as she walked by. Thank God. A little voice in my head belted. I was expecting more than a wave and a smile.
“What’s good, Farrah?”
Aben turned his back, again, facing me as Farrah reached over and tapped the arm of the man next to her. Slowing her pace, she allowed him to get a glimpse of Aben from behind. In the midst of me trying to figure out what that was all about, we’d made it to my car. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
“Uh. Aben. I really need to be going… I... uh…”
Premise’s skin darkened a shade as he bent forward and placed his hand on the brick wall beside him. “Premise. Are you okay?” The girl, known as Farrah, questioned.
“Ear…” He started, but couldn’t get his words out.
I gasped as I watched him dry heave as if he was about to vomit. “I… uh… I need to get going.”
“Ea…” Premise tried again, still crunched over. This time, puke came rushing out of his mouth and onto the ground. The cycle continued, each time he tried calling out to me or moving, vomit sprouted.
He was sick to the stomach at the sight of me with another man. How ironic? I’d waited and prayed that he’d get his shit together, but he couldn’t. Yet, we were both returning from long nights – obviously – but he couldn’t handle what he saw when he emerged.
A satisfying smirk appeared out of thin air and landed on my face. “I’d hate to be late. Thanks for everything.” My speech was clear and so was my confidence. To hell with Premise. I had no reason to consider his feelings when he’d never considered mine.
“Thank you.” Aben responded. “Drive safe.”
I couldn’t help but to get another glance at Premise. He looked pathetic, puke all over his clothing. He’d even blessed his little helper with whatever the hell contents his stomach contained.
“Hmp.” I tooted my head in the air and got inside of my car.
Karma had a funny way of looking out for the good people.
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